Financial Comparison Is the Thief of Joy—How to Break Free
We’ve all done it: glanced at a friend’s new car, scrolled through someone’s travel photos, or overheard a colleague chatting about their latest property investment and felt a wave of inadequacy. Financial comparison is insidious, sneaking into quiet moments and making us feel that we’re falling short, even when we’re making progress.
In South Africa, a country where wealth disparities are stark, financial comparison can feel even more complex. It’s easy to measure yourself against others who seem to have more, especially when social media and cultural pressures amplify the noise. But here’s the truth: financial comparison doesn’t serve you. It erodes your confidence, distracts you from your own goals, and steals your joy.
Let’s explore how to stop comparing and start celebrating your financial journey.
Why Do We Compare?
Comparison is deeply wired into us. Psychologically, it’s a survival mechanism—understanding where we stand in the group used to mean life or death. But in today’s world, this instinct often backfires, especially when it comes to money.
In South Africa, where financial realities vary widely:
- Cultural expectations about lifestyle and success can create pressure to “keep up.”
- Historical inequalities can amplify feelings of inadequacy, even for those making significant strides.
- Social media turns everyday life into a highlight reel, offering only a glimpse of someone’s story—and not the messy parts.
The danger lies in forgetting that you’re comparing your whole life to someone else’s curated snapshot.
How Financial Comparison Hurts You
- It Makes You Chase Other People’s Goals.
You might feel compelled to buy a flashy car or splurge on a trip simply because others are doing it, even if those choices don’t align with your values.
- It Breeds Financial Stress.
Comparing yourself can lead to impulsive decisions, debt, or overextension in an attempt to keep up.
- It Erodes Self-Worth.
Every time you feel “less than” because of someone else’s perceived success, it chips away at your confidence and sense of achievement.
How to Break Free from Financial Comparison
1. Reframe Success—What Does It Mean to You?
Take a moment to ask yourself:
- What does financial freedom mean to me?
- What kind of life do I want to build for myself and my family?
- What steps can I take right now to move toward my goals?
Your definition of success is deeply personal. It might not look like owning a mansion or travelling first-class—and that’s okay. Define your priorities and let them guide your decisions.
2. Focus on Gratitude
When you’re caught in a cycle of comparison, shift your focus to what you do have. Gratitude is a powerful antidote to envy.
- Reflect on the roof over your head, the meals on your table, and the opportunities you’ve had.
- Celebrate the small wins: paying off a debt, saving for an emergency fund, or simply having enough to enjoy life.
humans are resilient by nature, and reflecting on how far you’ve come can be a grounding and empowering practice.
3. Audit Your Social Circles and Media Consumption
Comparison often creeps in through what we consume. Take control of your environment:
- Social media: Mute or unfollow accounts that make you feel inadequate. Follow accounts that inspire financial wellness and authenticity instead.
- Conversations: Surround yourself with people who uplift and support your journey, not those who constantly boast or judge.
4. Celebrate Your Own Progress
Think of your financial journey as a garden. Some plants grow quickly, while others take years to bloom—but the beauty lies in tending to it over time.
- Keep track of your milestones, no matter how small.
- Reward yourself for hitting goals. This could be a thoughtful treat, like a relaxing day out or a favourite book.
Remember, it’s not about how fast you’re growing; it’s about nurturing what matters to you.
5. Build Financial Mindfulness
Mindfulness helps you stay present and grounded, even when feelings of comparison arise.
- Pause when you feel envy creeping in and ask: What is this moment teaching me?
- Remind yourself that someone else’s success doesn’t diminish your own.
- Meditate on abundance, focusing on what you already have rather than what you lack.
A South African Perspective: Walking Your Unique Path
In South Africa, our financial journeys are often shaped by unique circumstances—family obligations, cultural expectations, or the weight of historical inequality. Remember that your journey is valid and valuable, no matter where you start. Whether you’re building generational wealth for the first time, paying off student loans, or saving for your dream of moving to a seaside town (Knysna, anyone?), your story matters.
When you stop comparing and start focusing on your goals, you’ll find more joy in the process. Each step you take is a victory worth celebrating.
So, the next time comparison tries to steal your joy, pause and reflect. You’re walking your path—and that’s exactly where you’re meant to be.
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Author
Samantha Sparkes
Prosperity Coach for Women
Samantha has a Masters degree in Industrial Psychology from Wits University and a Finance Coaching qualification from the University of the Free State. She is a prosperity coach for women entrepreneurs, guiding her clients towards financial confidence and strength.
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