It starts innocently enough. You scroll through social media, spotting a colleague’s new car or a friend’s luxurious holiday in Zanzibar. You hear a neighbour talking about their child’s enrolment in a prestigious school or see a coworker sporting the latest designer handbag.
Before you know it, you’re comparing their lives to yours, wondering why you aren’t achieving the same milestones. You might feel frustrated, ashamed, or even resentful. This cycle of comparison doesn’t just harm your self-esteem—it can also sabotage your financial health.
But here’s the truth: financial comparison is a trap. It’s the thief of joy and a surefire way to derail your journey toward financial freedom. The good news is that you can break free from this habit. Here’s how.
The High Cost of Financial Comparison
When you compare your financial life to someone else’s, you’re only seeing the surface. You don’t know the full story—whether they’re in debt, sacrificing other priorities, or even deeply unhappy despite their material success.
Yet, comparison can lead to damaging behaviours like:
Comparison robs you of the opportunity to appreciate your own journey. It shifts your focus from growth and gratitude to insecurity and inadequacy.
Why Financial Comparison Feels So Compelling
In South Africa, where inequality is stark, it’s easy to compare yourself to others. Social media amplifies this, showcasing curated highlights of people’s lives. Corporate environments also fuel this mindset, with promotions, bonuses, and perks creating visible markers of success.
But financial well-being isn’t a competition. It’s deeply personal, shaped by your unique values, circumstances, and goals.
How to Break Free from Financial Comparison
Breaking the habit of comparison doesn’t mean ignoring others’ success—it means shifting your focus back to yourself and your own progress.
1. Define Your Financial Values
What truly matters to you? Is it financial independence? Funding meaningful experiences? Supporting your family?
When you’re clear on your values, you’re less likely to be swayed by what others are doing. For example:
2. Set Personal Goals
Comparison thrives in the absence of direction. Setting clear, specific financial goals gives you a roadmap that’s unique to you.
When you’re focused on your own journey, it becomes easier to tune out external noise.
3. Practise Gratitude
Gratitude is a powerful antidote to comparison. It shifts your focus from what you lack to what you already have.
Try this:
Gratitude helps you see the abundance in your life, even if it doesn’t match someone else’s highlight reel.
4. Limit Social Media Exposure
Social media is a breeding ground for financial comparison. Unfollow accounts that trigger feelings of inadequacy or pressure. Instead, follow pages and people who inspire you to grow, save, and manage your finances wisely.
5. Learn the Full Story
If you find yourself comparing, remind yourself that you don’t know the full picture.
Most people present their successes, not their struggles. Focusing on their wins without context distorts your perspective.
6. Celebrate Others Without Comparing
Most people present their successes, not their struggles. Focusing on their wins without context distorts your perspective.
7. Focus on Progress, Not Perfection
Your financial journey doesn’t have to look perfect. What matters is that you’re making progress. Reflect on how far you’ve come, even if the steps feel small.
Ask yourself:
Progress is personal. Celebrate it.
The Freedom of Financial Self-Acceptance
When you let go of comparison, you open the door to financial self-acceptance. This means embracing your unique journey, including the wins, lessons, and challenges.
You can stop chasing someone else’s version of success and start creating a financial life that feels fulfilling to you. Instead of worrying about how you stack up, you’ll focus on what brings you peace, purpose, and joy.
Your Journey, Your Rules
Comparison may be the thief of joy, but awareness is its antidote. When you catch yourself comparing, pause. Ask yourself:
Remember: you’re not in competition with anyone else. Your financial story is yours to write, and the only person you need to impress is yourself.
So, the next time you feel the pull of financial comparison, take a step back. Choose gratitude over envy, intention over impulse, and joy over judgment. Because the true measure of success isn’t what others have—it’s how aligned your life is with what truly matters to you.
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Author
Samantha Sparkes
Prosperity Coach for Women
Samantha has a Masters degree in Industrial Psychology from Wits University and a Finance Coaching qualification from the University of the Free State. She is a prosperity coach for women entrepreneurs, guiding her clients towards financial confidence and strength.
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