Why Your Childhood Shapes Your Money Habits—And How to Rewrite the Script

Have you ever stopped to wonder why you make certain financial decisions? Why you’re quick to save but struggle to spend on yourself, or why money always seems to slip through your fingers? The answers often lie in the past—in the financial lessons (or lack thereof) we absorbed during childhood.

For many women balancing corporate careers, family responsibilities, and personal goals, these early experiences can quietly shape your relationship with money in ways you might not even realise. The good news? While your childhood may have written the first draft of your financial story, you hold the pen to rewrite it.

From the moment we’re old enough to understand the value of a R5 coin, we begin forming beliefs about money. These beliefs come from:

Whether intentional or unintentional, these early messages become the foundation for your adult money habits.

Let’s look at some common childhood money scripts and how they might play out in adulthood:

Understanding your current habits is the first step to rewriting your financial story. Reflect on these questions:

Journaling or discussing these questions with a trusted friend or coach can help you uncover the roots of your financial behaviours.

Once you’ve identified the scripts that no longer serve you, it’s time to rewrite them. Here’s how:

It’s easy to feel frustrated when you realise how much your childhood shaped your financial habits. But remember, your parents or caregivers likely did the best they could with the knowledge and resources they had. Acknowledge the past, then release it.

Whenever you catch yourself thinking, “I’ll never be good with money,” or “I’ll always struggle,” pause. Replace those thoughts with affirmations like, “I’m learning to manage money with confidence,” or “I have the tools to create financial stability.”

Practical steps can help you build healthier financial habits:

If financial literacy wasn’t part of your upbringing, take charge now. Read books, listen to podcasts, or work with a coach to fill in the gaps. Knowledge is power—and it’s never too late to learn.

Your definition of financial success doesn’t have to look like anyone else’s. Maybe it’s being debt-free, saving for your child’s education, or having the freedom to take a sabbatical. Whatever it is, let it reflect your authentic goals and values.

For South African women, rewriting the financial script often means balancing personal goals with family and cultural expectations. The concept of Ubuntu—“I am because we are”—teaches us to care for others, but it’s equally important to care for ourselves.

For example:

Your childhood might have shaped your initial relationship with money, but it doesn’t have to define your future. By uncovering your scripts, challenging limiting beliefs, and adopting empowering habits, you can write a new story—one where you feel confident, capable, and in control of your finances.

So, take a deep breath, pick up the pen, and start drafting the next chapter of your financial journey. Because this time, you’re the author—and the possibilities are endless.