14 April 2026

When we hear the word “boundaries”, most of us picture something quite harsh. A hard NO. A slammed door. A dramatic speech where we finally tell everyone what we really think.

Today's Money Spark - Money Boundaries

In money life, boundaries are often much quieter. They live in calmly spoken sentences like, “I need payment before our session,” or “I can’t afford that this month,” or “I’m not available for unpaid work.” They are there to protect your time, energy and bank balance.

Without those boundaries, many women slide into familiar money strain patterns. Saying yes to “quick” favours that swallow hours; discounting first and thinking later; adding free extras to keep clients happy; tapping the credit card for things you cannot really afford because you feel awkward saying no in the moment.

Over time you end up tired, resentful and confused about why your hard work is not translating into money.

Money boundaries do not make you selfish. They make your life more sustainable. They are simply the lines that say, “This is what works for me, and this is what does not,” before you get exhausted and financially overdrawn.

You do not need to fix all your money boundaries at once. One or two gentle changes, practiced often, can make a difference.

Build your boundary muscles by:

1. Identifying the problem areas

Think back over the last few weeks. Where does money or time slip away most easily for you. Maybe it is under-charging for your services, running over time in sessions, saying yes to social events you really don't feel like attending. Write down one sentence: “I leak money / energy when…”

2. Decide your new limit in that area

Now ask, “What is a kinder limit for me here.” Keep it simple and realistic. This is not your boundary for life, it is just your boundary for the next month to build strength in boundary setting.

3. Script your words before you need them

Boundaries wobble when we try to improvise them in the moment. Write down one or two exact sentences you will use. For example:
• “My fee for this is R…, and payment confirms the booking.”
• “I'm sorry, I won't be able to attend the dinner on Tuesday". You don't need to lie or even give a reason.
• “That’s outside my budget right now, so I’ll have to skip it.”
Practice saying your boundary statements out loud so your mouth remembers when your brain wants to panic.

4. Follow through and notice what happens

Use one of those sentences this week. Afterwards, notice what actually happened. Very often the reaction is less dramatic than the one you imagined. You may still feel guilty or shaky, but you have given your nervous system a new experience to work with: you set a boundary, and the world did not end.

For this edition, I spent some time creating a Soft Money Boundaries Mini-workbook because I know this is an area that most of us struggle with. We would rather swallow our irritation to our own detriment than speak up. My challenge to you is to identify your most annoying porous boundary and do something about it this month.

"The only people who get upset about you setting boundaries are the ones who benefit from you having none" Anonymous

Financial boundaries are not about becoming hard-hearted. They are about making sure you do not abandon your own best interests every time money is in the room. Easier said than done, right? Yes, it's hard. There is one sentence I have had to practice over and over again: "Can I think about that? I will get back to you soon". That buys me time and I can avoid saying the impulse "yes" that I regret later.

Let me know if you are enjoying my newsletters, and what topics you would like me to cover in future editions.