Case Study - Hope

Hope had plucked up the courage to come for money coaching after her friend had told her that her relationship with money was holding her back. Her money worries were constant. Just thinking about finances made her feel “so anxious” and “so fearful”, and underneath that fear sat a familiar belief: “there’s never enough.” She also carried a burden of shame. In some moments with friends and family, she would spend money she didn't have just to be part of something — a trip, a gift, a social event — and in the moment it felt like relief. But the relief didn’t last. Afterwards, she’d feel the emotional hangover and describe it as “living a lie”, because people assumed she had money while she was carrying significant debt.

We discussed this as a pattern: what she reached for emotionally, what it cost financially, and how to build different options that would stop her digging herself deeper in debt.

Starting point (what was going on)

• Anxiety and fear of scarcity: money thoughts triggered panic (“so anxious… so fearful”).

• A cycle of ‘belonging spending’: saying yes to plans or purchases, then guilt and regret afterwards.

• Dependence on credit for day‑to‑day life: “I actually live on my credit card”.

• Debt felt like an ongoing battle: each time she tried to get ahead, something would knock her back.

• The family dynamic were such that because she was pretending to be financially independent, she was the one people came to “especially with needing funds” — even when it created resentment in her and fear about further debt.

What we focused on

• Separating values from pressure: what she genuinely loves (joy, travel, experiences) versus spending to keep up.

• Visibility without shame: turning the numbers into information, not a verdict on her character.

• Tiny tracking habits: writing down expenses to interrupt ‘auto‑spend’ and build awareness.

• Trade‑off thinking: practising a kind ‘no’ to costs that keep the debt cycle running.

Practical changes she started making

• Used a simple notebook method to write down daily expenses (including small purchases), so spending was no longer invisible.

• Began planning an emergency fund (even if it started small).

• Stepped back from a travel savings scheme that was pushing her further into debt, noting it was “not serving me… most of the time I still have to top up my credit card”.

• Started naming the emotional ‘aftertaste’ of certain spending decisions and using it as data.

What changed (signals of progress)

• More self‑honesty: she could describe the financial patterns she had fallen into without blaming herself.

• More clarity about what ‘joy’ (keeping up with her friends social activity) actually costs — and when it’s worth it versus when it becomes self‑betrayal.

• Stronger boundaries with social and family spending that wasn’t aligned with her real priorities.